I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
