she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
