i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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