come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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