Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
