yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
