Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
