Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
