I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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