Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
