u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
