Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
