I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
