Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
