Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
