So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
