i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
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bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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