Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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