Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
