Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
