he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
