well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
