Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
