You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
