My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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