If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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