I wanna bring you to show and tell
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
