i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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