Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
