dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there was a trapeze. enough said
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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