he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
