Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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