I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
