I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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