Hey man sorry I got all grabby
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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