I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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