two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
