"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Boobs are out for the taking
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
