I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
