I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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