how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
