I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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