i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
