My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
