Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
