And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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