is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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