my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
