Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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