I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
