I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize