YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
