she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
this boner is exhausting
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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