Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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