Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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