Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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