He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
But theres a keg here and me gusta
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
