maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How naked do you want me to be?
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