Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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