hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So vagazzling was a success
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
