I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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