You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
