Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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