kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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