I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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