How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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