I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
