Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
